How Meditation Helped Blair Abee Heal After Losing His Job

[Dana] (00:01)
Welcome to Phoenix and Flame. I’m Dana, and this is my podcast on pushing through and transforming even when you feel like a pile of ash. Today we have an amazing guest. His name is Blair Abee. Now Blair had a traumatic year at a high level new job with a difficult boss who was abusing employees. Blair decided to blow the whistle on that situation, causing an investigation, and the boss was fired. But guess what? Blair was also fired as a quote, “troublemaker,” end quote, and it ended a 25 year career. But at that point, he was forced to dive deep into his meditation practice to stay sane. So he developed something called the Higher Consciousness Meditation after many years of meditation and yoga. Blair, welcome to Phoenix and Flame.

[Blair] (01:04)
Thank you, Dana. I appreciate the opportunity to be here with you.

[Dana] (01:09)
Awesome. Well, I didn’t tell my listeners yet about your books and all that. I wanted to kind of leave that for you for, you know, later on in the podcast, but you’ve written as far as I’m aware, five wonderful books that we will absolutely be talking about and showcasing because I looked them up and they are just really amazing things. So share with us, oh my gosh, that story is amazing to me about the courage it must have took, I mean taken, for you to blow the whistle. So what was going on in the situation that really caused you to think so seriously about doing something like that?

[Blair] (01:48)
Yes. Well, I’ve been doing business consulting for about 25 years with the organization, the nationwide organization that I worked with, and took a high level job in San Diego, moved from North Carolina to San Diego to do this job, and found myself in what I would consider employee hell. I’d never had a bad boss. And all of a sudden I found myself with somebody who was pretty psychopathic. She was a mistress, if you will, of smoke and mirrors, and kept the people who were supposed to be overseeing the program, the community college that was our host, kept them in the dark and was running the program into the ground. Abusive to employees and mishandling funds.

[Blair] (02:47)
And I’d been with a really successful program in North Carolina, so this was just kind of an awful situation. And after almost a year, I just couldn’t put up with it anymore. I wouldn’t let her do the things that she was doing to others, to me. But it was untenable. It was just a terrible situation. So I decided to let people who should have been paying attention know what was going on. And as you said, an investigation ensued. She was fired as a result, but they fired me too because they said that I was a troublemaker. Well, what that really meant was that I had shined the light on her mismanagement, but also the mismanagement of the people who were supposed to be overseeing the program. And that was really embarrassing for them. And so I had to go. And as you can imagine, that was a traumatic experience. My 25 year career went down in flames. My income disappeared. And boy, was my ego deflated and threatened. My whole world was threatened. Fortunately, I had some resources.

[Dana] (03:50)
Mmm.

[Blair] (04:17)
Right away and began to look for other opportunities. And in the meantime, took a deep dive into my meditation practice, really as a therapeutic measure. I also started journaling, which I’ve never done before. Every night I…

[Dana] (04:25)
Okay, I wanted to ask you, I apologize for interrupting, but I wanted to hover over that for just a moment. First of all, I wanted to point out that you had a 25-year career. So if someone’s listening to the story, they might be wondering, is Blair somebody that just hops from job to job to job and doesn’t really have longevity? Because that makes a difference to me. This story, knowing you had a 25-year history, that says something.

[Blair] (04:42)
Sure. Yes. Sure.

[Dana] (05:08)
You are a mature, responsible, reliable, dependable employee with consistency and continuity. And so you had all of those characteristics going into this. You were not looking for trouble. You had 25 years to demonstrate that you get along well with people. You troubleshoot. You are a problem solver. You can deal with all different kinds. There’s no telling how many different kinds of employees.

[Blair] (05:22)
Yes.

[Dana] (05:36)
and customers that you’ve had to deal with in 25 years. And you did that just fine. So you had a very long history of doing all of that great.

[Blair] (05:42)
I do. Right, right. And rose up in the ranks to a leadership position in North Carolina. And then the job that I took in San Diego was a step up from there, to an assistant state director job. So a very sizable job with lots of responsibilities and management responsibility among my…

[Dana] (06:04)
Mm-hmm.

[Blair] (06:13)
you know what I was doing, and it was a shock. It was just something that was incomprehensible to me, because I’d never had a situation like that.

[Dana] (06:27)
Well, and you said it really hits your ego. I can only imagine, because I’m trying to put myself in your shoes, and listeners, I want you to try to put yourself in Blair’s shoes. There might be somebody listening that is in his shoes, that right now is going through something. That’s why I kind of want to hover over that, and just really benefit from your experience and your wisdom in going through that, because you pointed out that there were people who should have been paying attention.

[Blair] (06:30)
Oh yeah. Yes.

[Dana] (06:53)
and they were not, and that inevitably was one of the reasons why you were fired, because they were embarrassed. They should have been watching her and they were not, and I just want to ask you, really, if you wouldn’t mind, kind of unpacking a little bit about what it took for you to make the choice, to say something about her. Because what happens is we frequently will get into situations where we notice something.

[Blair] (07:16)
Yes.

[Dana] (07:23)
is going on that’s a little fishy, a little sketch, but we don’t necessarily do anything about it. And as I’m talking, this quote is coming to my mind, and forgive me if I don’t remember exactly who said it, you probably will know. I’m wondering, I think it might have been Einstein, but it’s something about: evil will flourish when good men do nothing.

[Blair] (07:50)
I’m not sure who said that, but certainly I can see that that would be the case. And this had been going on actually for about four or five, she’d been doing this about 10 years actually, so there was a slow deterioration in the performance of the program, but nobody had.

[Dana] (07:56)
Yeah.

[Blair] (08:15)
come forward to shine a light on the situation. And because she wasn’t being closely watched, it was allowed to go on and on. And apparently it’s not that unusual for people who do a whistle blowing to get fired, is what I found out, as I sort of began to be observant about that whole dynamic.

[Dana] (08:28)
Mm-hmm. Really?

[Blair] (08:48)
All I can say really was this is something that I had to do. I couldn’t not do it. My integrity, my everything said this is not right. It can’t continue. I’ve got to do something about this. And…

[Dana] (08:54)
You couldn’t not do it. That just says so much about you as a person, because things thrive in secrecy. And being a psychotherapist, I hear these stories frequently where things are going on that should not be going on, but they’re allowed because people don’t say anything about it. And that happens so much of the time. That’s why I’m kind of unpacking and hovering over that particular

[Blair] (09:11)
Yes. Yes.

[Dana] (09:30)
part of your story as we begin talking about it, because I think that is worth pointing out, what characteristics you had that would help you stand out and actually say something. Because I imagine that’s why people don’t say things, like you pointed out, because a whistleblower will get fired as well. So what did you have that enabled you to actually say something, to have the courage to stand out, when so many people, after all these years that she’s been doing this…

[Blair] (09:32)
Yes. Right, yes. Right, right. Yeah.

[Dana] (09:59)
Nobody had said anything.

[Blair] (10:05)
I don’t know that I can really answer your question well, other than to say that integrity was part of my leadership style and performance and results. All of that was part of how I led, and was part of just the innate elements of my life. I’d been doing yoga for about 40 years at that point, and over time you just grow, you evolve, you grow in your integrity. If you’re a leader, and you’re a good leader, you bring forward qualities within yourself that help your team be high performing, a well-oiled machine, if you will, or a good culture, all of that. So it was just something that I had to do. I could not stand by and watch this culture continue, because it wasn’t going to get any better. And there was even a point where she began to intimate that she was going to try and blame what was going on on me. Being brand new, that was kind of absurd on the one hand. On the other hand, it was just her style. So I think when you find yourself in a very difficult situation and you know it’s not going to change, and you know somebody has to come forward, it was me.

[Dana] (12:21)
Well, there’s no telling really how many people have benefited from you taking a stand, for her not to be there continuing to be abusive of people. Because she’s gone, and she’s gone because you took a stand. Now, I did want to point out as well that you talked about when you lost your job, that it was a huge ego blow. I mean, I imagine that just your sense of who you were, your value as an individual, and all that just…

[Blair] (12:31)
Oh, I think the program has flourished since I left. So, yeah, yeah. Right. Oh yeah.

[Dana] (12:51)
really possibly tanked, and that was that pile of ash and stuff. And how did yoga and mindfulness and meditation really help you when you’re just a pile of ash at that moment, you’ve lost your job, you don’t really know what your life is, where you’re going from here? Take us to that place.

[Blair] (12:55)
That’s right. Yes. So I’d been doing yoga, I’ve been doing meditation for a number of years. And I think my ability to deal with difficult situations, because stuff had come up over time in my job, personally, I mean everybody has stuff that they have to deal with, and I found that meditation was a healing practice. It was a way to deal with something difficult by going deep inside in order to delve into the resources that are there. One of the things that happened as a result of this, and as a result of the meditation work that I did, was I began to get a sense of soul contact in my delving deep inside, as a result of doing journaling. Journaling was very helpful to write what was going on inside on a day-to-day basis. But I began to get a sense of that soul, or higher consciousness part of myself, which I think we all have. But I had never had an experience of that deep part of myself, even though I had been meditating for, gosh, 40 or 45 years at that point. And that was a startling experience to have, to begin to have words and phrases as I was journaling just kind of begin to flow through me, and they weren’t my words and phrases, they weren’t my understandings, they weren’t my realizations. It was as if there was another part of me, that higher consciousness part of me, that had been activated as a result of my going deep into my meditation practice. And that contact has resulted in, number one, all the understandings and the books that I’ve written, and what I’ve come to know about humanity, and about our higher self, about the fifth dimensional part of us, if you will, that is present and available to us at any time we begin to turn our attention in that direction and begin to acknowledge or open to it. It responds immediately and begins to flow in. Well, that’s sort of what was happening in that sense of having soul contact.

[Dana] (15:57)
Mm-hmm.

[Blair] (16:19)
These days, on an ongoing basis, multiple times a day, I will do a meditation practice, either a sit-down meditation or mindfulness meditation, and I’ll get a sense of that higher part of me, that higher consciousness part, which I affectionately call HIC, engaging, that spirit part of me, if you will. And I think in some ways that…

[Blair] (16:49)
anybody who has that experience has one of the most profound experiences that you can have in a human lifetime: to rise up in consciousness, to rise up in awareness, to also feel like you have a companion, if you will, right beside you, walking the path with you, perhaps even clearing the way a bit for good things and people and circumstances to happen in your life. I’m convinced that we all create our own reality. And I think we create our own reality by virtue of the vibration that we generate: higher vibrations, higher quality experiences; lower vibrations, lower quality experiences. And that’s what can happen in meditation. And especially if you begin to get a sense of that element all of our master teachers have talked about, being the kingdom of God being within us, and that it’s available. You don’t have to go to India. You don’t have to go anywhere to have that experience. All you have to do is turn in that direction and it’ll respond to you. I think, no, I’m certain that my higher self, my soul, really wanted me to go in a different direction. So as I look back on it, it’s probably the best thing that could have happened because my life is just fabulous now. And I don’t have to deal with all of the baloney that goes on in a bureaucracy. I can live my life the way I want to live my life. And it was, if it was just time to make a change. Well, it took a traumatic experience in order to sort of blast me out of what was going on. But it’s one of the things that I think people, when they have difficult times, difficult experiences, if they’ll take some time to delve into it, to discover the feelings and the thoughts and so on, and maybe even to ask the question, well, what is it that I did to help create this, and why, and what can I learn from this, and what can I take away from this, and what can I use to rise out of the ashes and go on to a better life. Perhaps this is what needed to happen. Nothing happens without a reason. This is what needed to happen in order for me to make a change.

[Dana] (19:15)
Yeah. Mm-hmm. This is awesome. Blair, as I’m listening to you, another quote is coming to my mind again. I think this is Winston Churchill, I’m not positive, but he said, when you’re walking through hell, keep going. Keep going. But I really like what you’re talking about, the soul connection. And as I’m listening to you talk, I’m also reminded of another book that I read by Glennon Doyle, Untamed.

[Blair] (19:46)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana] (19:57)
that she talks about something very similar, when she got in her closet and kind of experienced something. I know people have different names for that experience, depending on who you’re talking to, because something I’ve been very honest about on Phoenix and Flame, I’m a Christian, but I’ve talked to so many different people who have, my philosophy is each to his own. Everybody’s walking on their own journey, and I think we need to just love and respect each other in whatever journey that we’re on. So I think different people have different words

[Blair] (20:17)
Yes.

[Dana] (20:26)
for what they experience. Since I’m a Christian, one of the things that was coming to my mind, of scripture, is be still and know that I’m God. And I think that’s curious, that it starts with be still. Just be still. And I think a lot of what I’m hearing you say is you were able to just calm yourself and be still, and you felt like you met your higher consciousness there.

[Blair] (20:35)
Yes. Right, exactly.

[Dana] (20:55)
that soul connection there, when you stilled yourself.

[Blair] (20:59)
Correct. Yeah. Now I think meditation is perhaps the most direct path to having an experience of soul contact. And so one of my frequent mindfulness phrases during the day is, peace be still, which you will recognize is what Jesus said to the storm. But I think he was saying it as much as anything to his own higher consciousness, which then, as a result of his rising up in consciousness and awareness, had perhaps the ability to calm the situation that he found himself within. And it was he that said the kingdom of God is within us. Well, I never heard that in any sermon growing up in a Christian church also. Nobody ever talked about that particular thing. But I think it’s one of the most powerful things that he said, and all of our master teachers have said something similar, Buddha and others in that group of people who are, I think, just more advanced humans. They weren’t gods. They were more advanced. And they were pointing in the direction of, here’s what I’ve experienced, I want you to have this experience also, and here’s how to do it. And they all would retreat to periods of quiet and meditation, and they would come back with pearls of wisdom that they could share with their followers. So I think that’s what’s possible for all of us, if we take some time to be still, if we take some time to learn how to be still, which is not an easy thing to do. As you know, we all walk through life with this…

[Dana] (23:07)
Oh wow.

[Blair] (23:13)
our mind, it is chatter, chatter, chatter, sort of an overlay on everything that we’re doing. And it’s reflecting on the past. It’s trying to anticipate the future. It’s trying to keep us out of trouble. It’s trying to create the best possible situation for ourselves in a difficult world. And I think planet Earth is a difficult world. It’s got lots of problems, lots of pitfalls.

[Dana] (23:36)
Yeah.

[Blair] (23:42)
And we’re all sort of hypnotized to it as we come in as babies onto the planet. We’re all hypnotized into this is a dog eat dog world. And, gird your loins, and even though you’re fearful or suffering, as Buddha would say, it’s just the way it is. Well, not necessarily. And that’s kind of my message, that we’re all eternal beings and that we all have access to that part of ourselves. And if we take some time to delve into some practice, and there are all kinds of things that you could do, all kinds of spiritual traditions, if you’ll penetrate into the depth of that spiritual tradition, you’ll find that there are practices, techniques that are offered to have you have a similar experience to whoever your master teacher is.

[Dana] (24:57)
Let me get your wisdom on something, and your take on something. I will have conversations with people, mostly patients of mine, who will tell me, Dana, I know that you’re saying that I need to, we’re talking about being mindful and be still and listen. Some of them will say, I’m scared to be still.

[Blair] (25:00)
Okay.

[Dana] (25:21)
because I’m scared of the thoughts and the feelings that are waiting on me as soon as I slow down. They are terrified of those things. And for those people that are running from and avoiding those awful thoughts and feelings that are swirling around inside of them, just the idea of sitting still makes them cringy.

[Blair] (25:21)
Yes. Yes.

[Dana] (25:46)
they just can’t even hardly, it is not something pleasant. For someone like me or you, the thought of just kind of being still sounds peaceful, sounds serene, we’re making the soul contact, we’re doing all that. But to someone who’s in a different space in life, and they’re running from things that are swirling around inside of them, what would you say to maybe some of my listeners who are in that space, and they’re listening to you, and they want to be where you are, Blair. They want to follow your steps, and they really are admiring what you have to say and what you went through, and how the mindfulness and the meditation and yoga helped you kind of through a really tough spot, and they’re trying to compare that to where they are. So if they are in that spot where they’re avoiding, and they don’t want to sit still because of the scary things that are waiting for them, what would you say to them?

[Blair] (26:27)
Yes. Well, what I would say is, first and foremost, learn how to meditate. Now, it can be as easy as just taking a deep breath and settling in for just a moment. And then if it gets uncomfortable, stop. But then try it again for just a moment. Doing that over and over, over time, will actually begin to dissolve those scary thoughts, and begin to, you’ll begin to get comfortable with those thoughts, and you can just watch them go by. They’re not you. They’re not who you are. They’re just thoughts that are passing through. And most of those thoughts, fears, concerns about the future, never turn out the way you’re afraid that they’re going to turn out. So one of the meditation techniques is just to watch, as you’re sitting for a moment, and just watch the thoughts come and watch the thoughts go, or even say, hello, goodbye. Because again, that’s not who we are. That’s just some conditioning that we have, that has never been addressed. It may have behind it traumatic situations. It may have behind it a lot of personal difficulty. But if you just learn to observe, simply observe. Now, some of my practices that I offer in my books are more penetrating than just being quiet with a breath for a second, and are intended to sort of bypass the mind training that a lot of meditation practices use, so that you have a more direct experience of your higher self, a more direct experience of who you are. But it’s one of those things which, if you’re willing to take a little time to work with it and to learn some good meditation practices, to use a phrase like, peace be still, just for a moment, it’ll begin to flower forth. It’ll begin to come forth, because that part of you, which is not your human self but your higher consciousness self, wants to join you in your human adventure. And if you’ll just open up to it, it’s available. So at first, it’s sort of a willingness to try. Just a willingness to try, and to spend a little time somehow, some way, learning a technique or two that feels like it’s part of your path. It could be just taking a walk and being quiet. It could be being out in nature. It could be any spiritual praying, but silent praying where you’re listening instead of talking, where you’re not bargaining with God, but you’re listening to see what God has to offer you, by way of that still small voice. Any effort that you put into this is valuable and cumulative, I guess is my point.

[Dana] (31:09)
like that. And I want to point out one last thing and kind of tack it on to what you just said, and then I’m going to get some information on really how the listeners can get more access to you. I think you mentioned time, and I think sometimes I talk to people who feel like they are not worth time. That they spend the time they have available to them spending it on other people, but they feel like they themselves don’t deserve

[Blair] (31:15)
Yes.

[Dana] (31:39)
time. And so I think this is something that just deciding, just making a decision that you are worth some time, even if it’s five minutes, even if it’s two minutes in the beginning, taking little baby steps, even if you have 30 seconds in the beginning, but making that decision that you are worth some time to find that

[Blair] (31:41)
for themselves. Yes. That’s right. Right. Yeah.

[Dana] (32:06)
higher consciousness within yourself, to hear that voice within yourself.

[Blair] (32:09)
Yes, yes, yes. And you can do that when you first wake up, before you even get up, or when you go to bed, just before you go to sleep. There’s a couple of five minute periods of time, and then have in your back pocket a mindfulness practice, like peace be still, that just takes an instant, and nobody has to know, and it’s all internal, but it’s a really great way to just, for even just a moment, settle in, settle down, and just be for a second.

[Dana] (32:47)
I like that. I like that a lot. There’s a scripture that I use occasionally, when I’m having a moment here and there, is I’ll be speaking to God and I’ll say, in my weakness, you are strong. And so I think that is something that I use, to take just a moment and just kind of focus on Him and on that quiet place within myself, and just, in my weakness, you are strong. And then I release it,

[Blair] (33:11)
Yes.

[Dana] (33:15)
and surrender, and then move forward, and then what happens happens.

[Blair] (33:20)
Yes, right, right. But the interesting thing is that you’ve turned it over to God, or to Spirit, or whatever you want to call that. You’ve turned it over, and you’re trusting that to respond in some fashion. And that part of you wants to be involved, and knows what you need to grow and evolve, and will respond, I think.

[Dana] (33:46)
Mm-hmm. That’s awesome. Blair, I really appreciate your story and all that you’re offering. Now, there are five books, and I’ve got them written down here. Benefits of Meditation, The Meditation Book, The Mindfulness Book, The Manifestation Book, and Health and Healing. Right? Did I get those correct?

[Blair] (34:10)
Actually, the last book is a poetry book. I’m working right now on the health and healing.

[Dana] (34:16)
Gotcha, gotcha. Okay, so if I wrote it down correctly, the website for you is HIC, which is Higher Consciousness, right? HIC, because I didn’t know originally when I saw that, I’m like, what does that mean? But it’s HICmeditation.com.

[Blair] (34:21)
Yes. Right? Right, right, right. That’s correct. Or you can just go to Amazon to get the books.

[Dana] (34:39)
Okay, go to Amazon to get the books.

[Blair] (34:41)
And I’d like to offer your listeners an electronic copy of one of my books, the Mindfulness Book, and they can get that by going to the website, HICmeditation.com.

[Dana] (34:54)
Awesome, wonderful, wonderful. I appreciate that so much. So Blair, I am so glad that you decided to come and spend your time and share your wonderful story and your wisdom, and be very transparent with what this whole journey has been like for you. Thank you very much.

[Blair] (35:17)
You’re welcome. I really appreciate the opportunity. This has been fun.

[Dana] (35:21)
Awesome. Well, listeners, I know that you have heard something today that has been very impactful, and thinking, hey, maybe you’ve got a friend or a family member or a co-worker that you’re thinking, I know the exact person that really needs to hear this particular episode. Please copy and paste the link of this episode in text and email. Put it on your favorite social media platforms. Let’s really spread the word and get it out there. Grow our Phoenix and Flame community. I hope you’re having a wonderful day and have a wonderful rest of your day. This is Dana on Phoenix and Flame.