Caring for a Spouse With Early Alzheimer’s (Darlene Greene)

First aired August 25, 2024

My guest today told me she goes to check on her sleeping husband to make sure he’s still breathing. That’s what early-onset Alzheimer’s caregiving looks like at its rawest. Darlene Greene’s husband Jim was diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s three years ago, around age 67, and declined in two years what would normally be a thirteen-year progression. The chief of neurology at Barrow’s Neurological Center told her flatly: this is fast. Darlene walked away from two earlier marriages to men she describes as narcissists before Jim, “the best marriage of anyone I have ever known,” and now her role has “completely transitioned to being mom” to the man she married.

Darlene and I talk about what it actually costs a caregiver: four autoimmune disorders from years of chronic stress, a broken foot she couldn’t properly rest because Jim needed her, and a therapist gently asking her to consider her own health and timeline, not just his. We also get into the alternative treatments she tried along the way, from IV stem cells in Mexico to a hyperbaric chamber to a wellness patch technology she now sells, and I push back where I think a listener should, because I never want this podcast to sound like a commercial.

If you’re the one holding a family together through a loved one’s decline, or setting a boundary that other people don’t understand, this conversation is for you.

Watch this episode

In this episode

• What early-onset Alzheimer’s caregiving looks like day to day, from re-teaching a spouse how to hold a toothpaste tube to becoming “mom” to the man you married
• Why Darlene initially refused to believe the diagnosis, and the alternative treatments (mold remediation, the Bredesen protocol, IV stem cells, a hyperbaric chamber) she tried before landing on the wellness patches she now uses and sells
• The toll caregiving took on Darlene’s own body: four autoimmune disorders, and how the book “Molecules of Emotion” helped her understand the chronic-stress connection
• Why her therapist told her to think about her own health and timeline, not just her husband’s, when it comes to placement decisions, and how hard that was to hear
• How Darlene sets boundaries with people who criticize choices they don’t have the full story on
• Why Darlene calls herself “in the middle of the ashes” rather than the Phoenix, and what she’s learned about giving herself space to grieve a spouse who’s still standing in front of her

Timestamps

• (00:01) Welcome and guest intro: meet caregiver Darlene Greene
• (03:38) Two marriages to narcissists, and the health toll of years of trauma and court battles
• (05:19) The book “Molecules of Emotion” by Candace Pert, and understanding chronic stress
• (07:14) Jim’s early Alzheimer’s diagnosis, and the “I don’t believe you” phase
• (08:07) Alternative treatments tried first: mold remediation, the Bredesen protocol, IV stem cells in Mexico, a hyperbaric chamber
• (08:34) A two-year decline that would normally take thirteen years, and Jim’s APOE4/4 genotype
• (09:59) Becoming “mom” to the man she married
• (12:22) Darlene’s own broken foot and depression, on top of caregiving
• (13:21) The wellness patch technology Darlene started using, and what she and Jim each noticed in the first weeks
• (20:51) Dana pauses the conversation: “I don’t want my podcast to sound like a commercial”
• (31:59) The therapist conversation about placement, and Darlene’s guilt around it
• (35:12) Learning to give herself space to grieve a spouse who is still physically present
• (39:43) Where to find Darlene and get a free consultation

About Darlene Greene

Darlene Greene is a caregiver for her husband Jim, who was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease three years ago. She describes herself as a hobbyist in alternative and holistic health, and now also works with a wellness patch technology, offering free consultations to listeners.

Learn more at Darlene’s website.

Favorite quotes

“I have left no stone unturned and I have tried as hard as a person can try.” —Darlene Greene

“I am not the Phoenix yet, right? I’m in the middle of the ashes.” —Darlene Greene

“I have lost my husband, right? He’s not who he was before, but he’s still standing in front of me as a different person.” —Darlene Greene

Resources mentioned

• “Molecules of Emotion” by Candace Pert: the book Darlene says reframed how she understood the physical toll of chronic stress on her body
• IAmReverseAging.com: Darlene’s website, where she offers a free consultation about the wellness patch technology discussed on the show

Related episodes

• Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: more on recognizing and recovering from a narcissistic relationship, which Darlene says she survived twice before meeting her husband Jim.
• Surviving Gaslighters and Manipulators: pairs with Darlene’s story of the “sneaky and covert” narcissists she describes from her past relationships.
• How Unresolved Trauma Is Ruling Your Life: digs deeper into the mind-body connection Darlene points to with her own autoimmune disorders and chronic stress.

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