What are you waiting on so you can finally be happy?
Does that sound like an odd question? For some reason, the happiness of most adults I know seems to move like a mirage in the desert. “There it is…I can almost touch it….almost there” …until it moves….again.
I’ve been a therapist in private practice for 18 years and started a podcast six years ago. Now, I’m building a speaking business in order to reach, encourage, and support more people. This journey of leveling up has exposed me to many amazing professionals. They seem so together and have a list of accomplishments as long as my arm (or leg…I’m vertically challenged).
But, you know what? No one seems to have reached his/her “happy.” For example, I have yet to become an author or TEDx speaker so those accomplishments seem like the pot at the end of the rainbow to me. But not to those who already have those coins in their pocket.
Here’s how it goes: if you’re an author, you only have one book or you’re not on the Amazon Best Seller list, or you haven’t sold enough books, etc. If you’re a TEDx speaker, the video/audio wasn’t very good or there haven’t been enough views, or you made a mistake and forgot a sentence you meant to say.
What are YOU saying to YOURSELF?
“I got the new job but a raise would really help me to feel appreciated.”
“I finally got an office but I sure wish the view was better.”
“I’m glad I get to play pickleball but it will be better when I feel comfortable competing in tournaments.”
I could go on and on with these. We ALL have these statements in our heads.
These thoughts of discontent, of not being _______ “enough” (smart, wealthy, acknowledged, attractive, etc.) are in our mental boardrooms and will run us into the ground if we don’t have awareness and take our rightful place as the CEO.
Time goes too fast to let ourselves keep delaying our happiness/peace/contentment. If we keep on that path, we’ll be in the grave before we finally reach the golden ring.
How about, instead, accept that member of your mental boardroom as human but don’t let it shove you out of the CEO chair? You can use my L.E.A.D. method to take control and finally reach what has been eluding you for so long.
LISTEN: What is the message of this boardroom member (“I need something else to be happy”).
EXTERNALIZE: Create a visual that you can imagine sitting at your mental boardroom table. I have a part that looks like a constipated IRS agent, complete with ramrod spine, pocket protector, stiff clipboard, and pinched lips.
ASSESS: What does this mental boardroom member need? (e.g. to be calmed)
DIRECT: As the CEO, initiate whatever needs to be done in order to manage this boardroom member so it isn’t running the whole show.
Choose to control your mental boardroom and be happy right now, instead of continuing to chase a mirage.
