Can we normalize feeling crazy? (Yes, I’m a therapist and I said “crazy”….I’m not a word mincer). Are there actually people out there who have all their shit together? Probably. But I don’t want to be around them because then I’ll feel even worse.
I kept waiting to feel like I had everything together before writing this blog and quickly realized that was absolutely futile.
TBH (don’t judge), I’m writing my blog right now so I don’t have to think about all the other tasks waiting for me in the 16 open tabs at the top of my laptop. I’d rather be brutally honest (my strength and weakness) and connect with you.
So what do we do when we feel ass-over-elbows, holding our head in our hands, and are fighting tooth and nail not to run for the hills?
Well, after we stomp around the room railing against anyone and everyone we think should arrive on a white rescue steed (or at the very least with wine), we have to face the reality that our emotional “yard” belongs to us. Expecting someone else to fix our problems (or show up with a bucket of dopamine) is like standing in our unkempt and weedy yard while yelling at our neighbor for not mowing it.
I’d love to rock on my front porch, sipping tea, while someone else attended to all the yardwork. Week after week. Well, that might work for people that pay for mowing services but it doesn’t work with our emotional “yards.” We can’t hold other people responsible for fixing our problems, making us happy, or guaranteeing that everything is going to be fine.
That is beyond their pay grade.
If you have ever felt like you were losing it, couldn’t “keep up” or began to doubt your sanity, consider trying what works for me:
- Always start with what is in your “yard” (your thoughts, feelings, and actions) vs. what is in someone else’s “yard” (their thoughts, feelings, actions). This way, your energy (what little you may have at the time) is focused on things you can actually change. This is your agency.
- Focus on the tornado of tasks in your head, pull them out one at a time, and create a list.
- Use color coding (or whatever system works for you) to create a time boundary: priorities. What needs your attention first?
- Use the Pomodoro method (I’ve mentioned this in a previous blog) so you work for a period of time then take regular breaks.
- Engage in physical activity on a regular basis (walking, biking, pickleball, tennis, golf, etc)
- Be intentional about having fun. Plan date nights and/or an evening out with friends. Don’t wait until you’re “all caught up” because that’s like waiting to win the lottery or trying to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
- Move from a micro to a macro POV. Pull up from the ever-present weeds and see the bigger picture. Time goes really fast. Can you believe school has alreaady started?! People have been grinding over problems since time began so slow your roll and try to enjoy your brief journey on this planet.
- Accept your weaknesses and failures. Give yourself grace. News flash: you are never going to be “perfect” and there will always be scenarios where you “aren’t enough.” Okay. And? Move along.
- Look back every once in a while and realize what you have survived, endured, and accomplished. Stop always focusing on what needs to be leveled up and appreciate how far you’ve come in your life.
- Intentionally list off anything and everything you are grateful for (yes, I know that is a dangling preposition….I’m practicing what I preach…LOL). This gratitude can be focused on something as simple as clean water and fluffy towels to being able to walk or recovering from cancer.
So, let’s realize we’re ALL a bit crazy as we’re trying to navigate this life journey. We’re in it together. We’re all crazy and that’s okay!
