Have you ever been in a cage? Literally or metaphorically? I feel sure you have or you may be in one right now.
I will never forget a moment in May as I was walking down a warm sidewalk on one of those sunny days with bright blue skies and puffy white clouds. The sidewalk was on my college campus, outside my dorm. I had finished my sophomore year and decided to stop trying to be a physical therapist (since I had been appropriately rejected from the program in Memphis). No more arduous and confusing chemistry classes. No more walking into anatomy and physiology while realizing we had to cut frogs open and test their reflexes (or whatever it was we were testing….).
I exhaled a long, lengthy breath I didn’t know I had been holding. I was not made for science courses. At that moment, on that warm, sunny sidewalk I felt like I had just been released from a cage I didn’t know I was in. The heavy, metal lock clicked open and dropped to the concrete as the door of my prison swung slowly open.
It sounds odd, but until that moment I hadn’t realized I was in a cage.
Might you be in a cage as you read this blog? Things that make you go, “hmmmm” as C+C Music Factory belted out in the 80’s.
On the flip side, I was recently watching a show during Shark Week featuring seemingly normal people getting into cages that were dropped under water so they could film shark activity. Nope. And did I say Nope?
But I got thinking….they WANTED to be in that cage. The cage kept them safe from the gaping maw of razor sharp teeth.
I guess it’s all about perspective. A cage is just a cage until it’s a prison. A cage is just a cage until it stands between you and a bloody, painful death.
Boundaries can be viewed in much the same way. It all depends on the use and intent.
Boundaries can be used to protect us from flaming narcissists, prevent us from burning out at work, or take ownership and agency of our own behavior.
I’ve also seen boundaries be distorted as a means of avoiding unpleasant tasks, being socially obnoxious, displaying ridiculous self-absorption and blame shifting instead of owning personal discomfort.
Boundaries should help us feel safe, strong, and liberated while also helping us to thrive in our relationships and work scenarios.
So – are your boundaries helping you to succeed or holding you back? Boundaries are just boundaries like a cage is just a cage.
It all depends on how you use them!
