Have you noticed when you’re learning something new, there seems to be a maelstrom of people who are better than you and know more than you? Of course they do – they’ve been doing it longer than you, maybe decades longer.
For intense people like me, that is simultaneously encouraging and maddening. (I’ve been perusing my alternate topics because I really don’t want to write this and expose my weaknesses but I see my weaknesses reflected in those around me, so here we go…)
Using my Mental Boardroom strategy, there is a part sitting at the table that I don’t like and seems to be cloning itself. It’s message to me is, “You aren’t doing enough. You have to be faster, smarter, calmer, (fill in blank). Look at all the TEDx speakers, authors, prolific keynote presenters, etc. You aren’t reaching the bar.”
I’ve been married 36 years, raised 3 kids, have a master’s degree in clinical psychology, have been in private practice for 18 years, and my podcast is globally ranked in the top 5%. But all that is white noise to this annoying mental boardroom part.
Do you have a part like this in your mental boardroom? One that criticizes you, stops you from setting healthy boundaries, suggests that no matter how much you accomplish it will never be “enough” – whether it’s your view of yourself or how you assume others are viewing you (projection)?
I love watching biographies of “successful” people to learn about their struggles and challenges. An overwhelming theme is that no matter how “successful” a person appears to be, how many accolades or awards they have received, they also have that mental boardroom part (e.g. Inner Critic) spouting, “Well, you should have been in the movies instead of just on TV” or “Your emmys were only for daytime programming” or “It’s just a fluke that you won those awards.”
We all have these mental boardroom parts and they can run the “business” into the ground if we aren’t aware of them and managing them.
I’ve learned over time how to be the CEO of my mental boardroom and manage all the “parts.” (Some parts are easier to deal with than others). My L.E.A.D. method helps people identify these parts and manage them so these irritating and debilitating messages aren’t running the show.
So, if you are feeling inadequate, slow, or insufficent know that you aren’t alone. Everyone feels that way in one fashion or another. Give my L.E.A.D method a try!
- L – LISTEN
- E – EXTERNALIZE
- A – ASSESS
- D – DIRECT
